About today

It turned out alright…

But the last few months I typically start my day by waking up well before my alarm and can’t get back to sleep.

I keep telling myself just to get up; the idea always seems great…and honestly I feel myself getting closer and closer each time to getting up and making pancakes..

Anyways, I couldn’t fall back asleep since the guy in the next building—whose window is close to mine—started watching porn on blast at 6AM. Yeah.

I was in a “fuck it” kind of mood today.

Arrived at work > headphones in > no eye contact with anyone > let me be great

I applied for two jobs this morning before I left for work, just to see what the hell could happen. I’m a believer in bringing the objects of your mind to the material world and I’ve boiled down my sole goal in the next few months to simply paying off credit card debt and my car loan. Honestly, I don’t care if they don’t get back to me.

I do like my job, it’s just… Day to day shit sucks.

I think that’s where I stuck myself the last couple of years. Day to day shit.

Not enough future and perspective and life outlook shit.

It’s tough to let day to day shit slide in and out of your environment without affecting your own plans. Controlling your own life is essential to living to the fullest.

Perhaps tomorrow I won’t feel in control. And that’s what I fear, that’s what keeps me from getting out of bed early.

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